Everyone Has a Story

Everyone has a story. I am no different. There is a significant part of my story that I rarely tell. I guess because it is so far in my past, but it really has defined my present and future. In Christian circles, it’s called “your testimony” or your “witness.” The thing is, our lives (current tense) should be our testimony and witness, so I don’t usually tell this part.

action aim ancient architecture

I was in the fifth grade, the second son of a single mother and the middle child of three. I loved history, and I loved knowledge. On this particular day in spring, I was playing “army” which means I was staging a battle somewhere in the dirt between several armies. In this particular scenario, I was creating my own invasion of the Greeks by the Persians. Forget the fact that the Greeks were green plastic army men with a splattering of anything I could find to represent fighting men. I.e., shotgun shells, plastic firemen, etc. The invading army was usually blue army men and their contingents. The only thing separating these two was the body of water that flowed between. In reality, it was the dirty washing machine water that drained out to soak the ground. Flood stage came along with the spin cycle.

On this Saturday morning, a kind old gentleman named Mr. Juneau stopped in our yard to talk with this dirty kid playing in the muddy water. He first asked if my mother was home. I told him she was gone and would be back soon. He asked if we went to church anywhere. I told him no. He asked me what I was doing and patiently listened as I explained the invasion. He then asked if I would like to go roller skating next week. I told I would be glad to. He said he would stop by during the week and talk to my mom about it and he left.

In the course of things, Mr. Juneau started picking up us kids to go to Sunday school and church along with other children on the church bus. Through that experience, a man listening to the voice of God to go and seek the lost, several of us were found for eternity. It didn’t stop there. God moved in my life and has blessed me immeasurably. I think of how far Jesus has brought me, from that dirty kid playing in dirty soapy, washing machine water to where I am today. He could have left me there in my dirt and in my sad estate or could he? I think not. His love for me wouldn’t allow it. If I were to die today, it would be well with my soul, because the keeper of my soul has let me live a life that I have not earned nor deserved. Truly, far blessed than I deserved. Cory Asbury (and everyone else who has picked up this song) has it right when he sings of the “reckless love of God.” I couldn’t earn it. I don’t deserve it. Still, Jesus gave himself away.

sunset hands love woman

I tell this part of my life to say this: Jesus is faithful, and he loves you. If you do not know him, you can. If you do not know him, you should. It will cost you nothing, and you will gain everything. I am not talking material possessions. For some to be blessed materially is actually a curse that will keep them from God. So, don’t come to Jesus to see what you can get materially. Come to Jesus to see what you can get spiritually and eternally. Trust him above all things. He truly loves you and is faithful in all things. This is my testimony: let my life and words bear witness to the gracious love of God.

A Little Honesty

I have read many times for one to be a writer, you must write. Write something every day. It doesn’t matter what you write, just write. Uh, right. What about when you are not inspired to write or when you draw a blank? Are you still a writer. I mean, after all, you are not writing. You are just sitting there looking at a blank screen. Your eyes are staring at the blinking cursor and your brain is doing the same. Just blinking like it is buffering while you have the haunting feeling that you have written everything out that you had within you and there is nothing left.

To say the least, it is depressing. But I also find that I am in this state when I am depressed. Yes, depression and I are well acquainted. I could just dismiss it as the moods and minds of creatives. Yet, I know me enough to know that it goes deeper than that. It even goes deeper than just being unchallenged. I know it revolves around significance.

Don’t get me wrong. I fully believe if God had nothing else left for me to do on this earth, He would take me home. I look back on how God has moved in my life and has used me. When I mean significance, I mean, am I making a difference with what I have left; am I on target for what I am supposed to be doing or am I way off track? The depression is a signal that I am off track and have let myself become distracted.

I was cleaning my office recently when I came across a piece of paper where I had written what I believed was success in my life. It read, “Success to me means leading my family to a point of faith in God and helping them know Him intimately. Leading by example, my legacy would be one of wisdom, love, and encouragement.”

My biggest obstacle in life is that I allow myself to become overextended and allow myself to be entangled with the worries of the world. Then, I take my eyes off Jesus and look at my circumstances instead of Him. A big mistake every time. Yes, it is true. Relationships take work, even when that relationship is with the creator, sustainer, and savior of the world.

My greatest depression comes when I live my life apart from Him. Because when I don’t stay focused on Him, the rejections for auditions hurt more, the unanswered texts slight more; the unfinished projects pull more; and the seemingly insurmountable obligations scream more. But when they are examined in light of a right eternity and in the Master’s hand, they are shown for what they really are: fuel for my success.

Bottom line:

  • Depression is real, for a number of reasons.
  • You can’t trust your emotions.
  • You only see one side of your circumstances.
  • God is faithful even when you are not.
  • Valleys are always between two mountains. Keep moving.
  • God loves you and has not given up on you. Don’t give up on Him.